Good Friends Are For Always

Last night we had the wonderful opportunity to meet up with some dear old friends from way back when our children were just 6, 7 and 8 years old and we lived in Virginia. These are people that we met at the first church that we joined after getting saved many years back.

It was so much fun to see them again. Have you ever noticed that good friends never seem to change? Even though we hadn't seen these folks for many years, as soon as they stepped in the door, we picked up right where we left off.

As we sat in the living room talking after dinner, I couldn't help but remember how instrumental this friend of mine had been in my desire to grow in my Christian life. It was this dear woman that invited me into her home, spent time doing fun stuff with me, showed me how important it was to take time to be thankful through the art of writing kind notes, introduced me and my children to the importance of Christian literature and education, loved me for who I wasn't, and proved to me that God was big enough to handle any kind of hardship that would come my way.

Isn't it funny how important being a friend can be? When my friend Gail befriended me so many years ago, she had nothing to gain from being kind to me. I was nothing but a struggling wife with a wild and busy traveling husband and two happy spirited worldly kids. I was a new Christian, my kids went to the public school, and I had no real concept of all the politics or doctrine or any thing else that was associated with going to a non-Catholic church.

And here I am now, a woman whose husband is now a Pastor and whose kids went to Bible College and turned out to become pretty terrific Christian adults.

I wonder where I would be today if my friend had not reached out to me and invited me to be a part of her wonderful Christian life so many years ago? Would I have been willing to struggle through my hard times? Would I have been so insistent that my children get a Christian education and grow up around the activities of the local church? Would I have the desire to serve God and read and study my Bible like I do?

I don't think so. I truly believe that I would have chosen the path of least resistance (doing what came natural, rather than spiritual) had it not been for the friendship and great testimony that I found in my friend Gail. Gail made me feel like I belonged . . . belonged to God, to the church and as a vital part of other Christian's lives.

Good friends are for always. Even though the years pass by, and sometimes you must part and walk separate ways, the love and care you have for them never change.

And as I was reminded by my visit with Gail and her family last night ~ the love and care that they have for you never seems to change either.

"A friend loveth at all times."

The Gift of Affliction

Lately, my schedule is beginning to look like it belongs to a 70 year old woman! Almost every day I have an appointment with a doctor, physical therapist or to have some medical test done. This is a strange thing for me, especially considering before I turned 45 I had never had a stitch, broken bone or any type of major health problem or surgery.

Times have certainly changed for me over the past 4 years. Nowadays I am struggling with recovering from two shoulder surgeries, trying to figure out some kidney stone/bleeding issues, and keeping an eye on some cyst that is growing inside of me above my right ovary.

For a girl like me that believes everything should be cured by drinking more water, getting more sleep and exercising three times a week ~ going to all of these appointments, having all of these tests, and taking so much medicine has been a bit overwhelming.

Not to mention the fact that I am only able to do "half" of my work load by myself. I still move in slow motion, forget to do a lot of things, make lots of mistakes, and need lots of physical help.

Being in this recovery and "discovery" stage of life has been something that I have been trying to adjust to with patience and peace.

Yesterday I went to see my Orthopedic doctor. It has been 8 weeks since my last surgery and I was looking forward to her giving me the "full duty" go ahead.

But after testing my range of motion and arm strength, she told me that it will still be a few more weeks until I can do more.

*Sigh* I am really ready to get back into the swing of doing it all again.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up to drinking a large bottle of this Barium stuff to prepare me for a CT scan with and without contrast imaging. A few hours later I will drink more of it. Then as I am laying on the table they will be injecting dye into me to "light me up" so that they can see everything that is going on in my kidney and abdomen area.

These are not the things that most women look forward to. These are the kind of things that most women would like to try to avoid. But these are the things that God has called me to experience.

And as I am experiencing them, God is enlarging my heart and filling it with compassion for the many people around me that are experiencing this kind of stuff on a regular basis as well. To be honest, I never realized how many people around me were struggling with serious health issues until I began to struggle with mine. So many around us have been given the gift of affliction in which to glorify God through.

As the holidays are approaching, I have been busy planning and ordering special things for my family members to receive on Christmas morning. I want them to have things that will encourage them and help them in the work they are doing and the life that they are living. Why do I take the time to do this? Because I love and care for them so much.

My loving and caring God has sent me the gift of affliction this year, and He has sent it to encourage me and to help me in the work I am doing and the life I am living.

As a Pastor's Wife to my husband here at the Grace Baptist Church, God has seen me work hard and become absorbed in the work. He has also seen me work too hard and become too absorbed in the work. For many years I knew that it was God's will that I slow down and become rooted and fashioned as being my husband's wife at home again, and not his helper at church, but to tell you the truth, I really didn't know how to get away from it and get back.

But God did. He knew just what would slow us both down to the point where we would realign ourselves and our relationship back to where HE had designed it to be.

And to tell you the truth, even though it is not fun being in pain all of the time or having my time taken up with so many doctor visits and medical tests . . . I am experiencing that wonderful feeling of peace again as I spend my extra time and energy just loving my husband, encouraging him in what he is doing and taking care of his needs at home. And he is slowing down and sweetly caring for me in so many special ways too. Because of my afflictions, we are back to enjoying our happy God fashioned roles again, and our relationship has become so much more peaceful and productive because of it.

The Bible reminds me in Psalm 119:71 & 75 that the affliction that I am experiencing right now has been sent my way, through the approval of God, for my good and from His goodness, "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes . . . I know, O LORD, that thy judgments are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me."

I don't ever question the WHY of what is going on with my health these days. I know that God is in control. He has a timetable and a purpose for all of this. And if this kind of stuff continues . . . then, oh well, I will just have to accept the fact that God wants me to enjoy being loved and cared for and spoiled in such special ways :).

Sweet Conversations

"Gramma," my little three year old grandson said to me as we were eating Sunday dinner together this past weekend, "You remember when you were just a little baby and I used to hold you?"

After he said this, he gave me a great big smile.

"Yes, yes I do Conner. I remember it."

His smile got even bigger. Conner has the sweetest little voice and smile. I love to listen to him talk. He always has the most precious things to say.

"Papa," he said to my husband as we were all driving home from church together the other day, "I like your car Papa. Can I see your map Papa? I'm trying to find your house!"

"Thank you, keep looking for it, we will be there soon." my husband said.

"What's this?" Conner asked, lifting up the earphones my husband uses when he works out at the gym.

"Those are my earphones."

"Oh," Conner said. And then silence. I looked back and noticed that Conner had stuffed the earphones into the drink holder underneath him.

"I broke them," he said.

"That's all right. Give them to Gramma and I will fix them."

He reached down and grabbed the tangled mess and handed it over to me.

"Papa," he said a minute later, "I'm so sorry I broke your ear thing."

"That's okay Conner."

"Thank you Papa."

Such a tenderhearted little fellow.

On the way back to church that night he said to my husband, "Papa, I'm so hungry."

"Okay, Papa will stop and get you some fries."

"Thank you Papa. Gramma? Are you so hungry too?"

"No Conner, Gramma is just fine."

"Papa, where are we going?"

"We are going back to church. Do you like church?"

"Yes! I love church!" he said with a great big grin.

Today I was over playing with him and Hayden and while I was there he asked me, "Gramma, are you a nice person?"

"Yes Conner, Gramma is a nice person."

"My daddy is a nice person."

"That's nice," I told him.

"My mommy is a nice person too." And then he hesitated and said, "But sometimes she is mean to me."

"Really, what does she do to be mean to you?"

"She spanks me sometimes."

"When I was a little girl my mommy used to spank me too," I told him.

"Really?"

"Yes, she did. She didn't want me to grow up and be bad. She wanted me to be a good girl."

"Oh," he said, and then he went back to racing his car.

A little while later he looked over at me and said, "Gramma, I like God. Mommy says that I have God."

I smiled when he said this. I also smiled as he recited the John 3:16 Bible verse that his mommy had been teaching him.

We sat down at the table and ate a snack together. It is fun eating with a three year old boy.

"Gramma, do you like these?" he asks me as he pulls out the piece of taffy candy that I had just given him.

"No, not really."

"My mommy loves these," he tells me, and then he asks, "Can I have some of your food? Here I will have these and you can have those."

After we finished eating our little snack he says to me, "Gramma, I love you so much. Do you want to play playdough with me?"

"Yes I do. What would you like to make?"

"I want to make some bowling pins and a bowling ball."

Then as we were working with our playdough he started singing, "A helper I will be, a helper I will be, there's work to do, there's work to do, a helper I will be. Amen!"

Little people really do sing the sweetest songs.

When his mommy walked in the door he looked up and said to her, "I obeyed Gramma while you were gone." This brought a sweet smile to his mommy's face. She has been working really hard lately at training him to obey.

A few minutes before I had to leave, Conner looks at me and says this, "Gramma, remember when you were just a little baby and I used to carry you around all the time?"

"Yes, I remember," I told him. "I remember."

I could spend all day long listening to that little three year old boy talk. I never tire of his sweet little conversations or the precious things that he always comes up with to say.

What Not To Wear

About four or five years ago my sister Maria introduced me to a show while I was visiting my Dad in Florida. The show was called "What Not To Wear".

As many of you know, the hosts of the show "What Not To Wear" do their best to help women that struggle with dressing appropriately to find a fresh new style that works for their particular shape and lifestyle. If you have ever watched the show, you know how thrilling it is to watch the transformation. Especially when they get to the make-up and hair styling part!

My sister and I have such a good time watching these shows whenever we get together, and although I don't take the time to watch them when I home, I am often reminded of Stacy and Clinton's "rules" when I go out shopping . . . Dress according to your size. Buy clothes that fit. Be feminine. Dress appropriate to the occasion. Look for jackets that accentuate the waist. Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. And finally . . . Dress modestly.

Dress modestly? That doesn't sound like a rule that we learned from TLC's "What Not to Wear". Oh, that's right. That's not a rule I learned from Stacy and Clinton, that the rule I learned from God as I have been studying His Word in an effort to please Him over the past many years.

I Timothy 2:9-10 tells me, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works."

Dressing modestly is one of those "good works"that I do for God so that I am not a stumbling block or a hindrance to others.

What does it mean to "dress modest"? It means to dress in a way that draws attention to my Christian countenance, not my feminine "curviness". Someone once said that our clothing should be fitting enough to remind everyone that we are a lady and loose enough to remind them that we aren't a harlot!

As I go shopping for my clothes, I ask myself these two questions as I am in the dressing room trying them on:

1. Does this outfit expose parts of my body that God would want generously covered?
2. Does this outfit emphasize parts of me that should be generously covered?

There is a big push in today's dress culture for women to dress seductively and immodestly. We are a sex crazed nation and even many Christian women dread the thought of being passed over when the attention of others is looking by. They fear growing older, and even worse, they fear looking wholesome and pure.

Well my friends, in the economy of God, purity is in and immodesty needs to go out. It is high time that many of us "Abhor that which is evil;" and "cleave to that which is good." And dressing in a way that is modest and respectful of others is something that God considers to be very, very good.

Does this outfit expose parts of my body that God would want generously covered? Is the neck line low enough to cause a man to look twice and a woman to feel uncomfortable? Is my whole chest area sufficiently covered, or are the arm holes exposing some of it? How about my thighs? Does my outfit reach down to my knees, covering all of my thighs? Did you know that the Bible teaches us in Exodus 28:42 that God considers the exposing of our thighs in public nakedness? It does.

Does this outfit emphasize parts of my body that should be generously covered? Is my shirt so tight that my bra lines can be traced through it? Does my skirt cup the shape of my bottom, leaving very little to anyone's imagination? Are my clothes loose, but too sheer? Does the slit of my skirt rise above my knee? And for those that argue over a woman's right to wear pants (even after they read that God doesn't want a woman to dress in that which pertaineth to a man in Deuteronomy 22:5) ~ are your pants loose enough so that your private parts aren't in any way defined? God would hope so :).

I'm thankful for shows that help us to learn how to look our best. It has been good for me to be reminded not to dress frumpy or in styles that bring out the worst on me. But I'm afraid that in an effort to look our best for those that we see in this world . . . many of us have lost sight of the fact that God saved us to be a peculiar people that would shew forth His goodness to those that are watching us in this dark and sinful world.

"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy." I Peter 2:9-10

How wonderful to have been called out of the darkness into His most marvellous light! Let's show God how much we appreciate His mercy by being willing to outwardly identify with Him by dressing like women of the light.

Encouraged by the Goodness of God

Last week I was feeling a bit discouraged. It had been one of those weeks when many of the Christian folks that I have loved and looked up to were making foolish decisions with their lives.

Oh, I know that we are all sinners and that sinners are prone to do sinful things . . . but there are some people in my life that I admire, and well, when it seems like they keep on doing sinful things . . . well, it just plain ole' discourages me.

On Friday morning, as I was pouring out my burdened heart to the Lord, He reminded me of so many wonderful Christian people that I still had in my life that were doing wonderful things with their lives.

He reminded me of many of the precious ladies in my Sunday School class. God sent forty-five of them yesterday with their sweet praises and testimonies to remind me that there are many, many ladies (right here in my own church even) that are growing and bringing glory to God with their lives.

He also used my new friend Debbie Russ to encourage my heart as well. I met Debbie at a Sword of the Lord Conference that my husband and I attended at Dr. Bobby Roberson's church this past summer. Debbie Russ represents everything that God desires a Christian woman to be. She is beautiful. She is gracious and kind. She is encouraging. She is a devoted wife and mother. She is a good friend. Just this past week she sent me a Christmas cd as a gift and her husband sent my husband one too. Debbie and her husband are the kind of people that use their good Christianity to invest in the lives of others, and their testimonies are an encouragement to me.

And just yesterday, God encouraged me by the testimony of Jonathan Wicks, who is my son in law to be. His trio sang in church yesterday, and when Pastor Dave asked them the name of their group, he told them that they were the "Four J's".

"Four J's?" my husband asked him.

"Yes, the Four J's. Jonathan S., Jeremy B., Jonathan W. and JESUS."

My son in law to be is a wonderfully balanced Christian young man. I'm so encouraged that God saved him especially for my daughter Kina.

God is such a good and encouraging God. Even though He sees that sometimes I get sidetracked because of my discouragement in the behavior of others, He is patient with me. Rather than scold me for it, He just gently guides me and my focus away from that which is discouraging, and towards that which has been encouraging Him.

Halloween is Not for Me

If I had a nickle for every time someone has asked me about what I think about Halloween, I would be an even richer woman. Halloween is coming and many growing Christian women want to know how they should feel about it.

I always start off telling them that Halloween is not for me. "Why do you feel that way?" they usually ask in response.

"Because the Bible teaches me that God hates the whole occult thing. Consider some of the things that God has to say about witches, divination and the devil:

Exodus 22:18, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."

Deuteronomy 18:10, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch."

1 Samuel 15:23, "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king."

2 Chronicles 33:6, "And he caused his children to pass through the fire in the valley of the son of Hinnom: also he observed times, and used enchantments, and used witchcraft, and dealt with a familiar spirit, and with wizards: he wrought much evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger."

Galations 5:19-21, "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God."

John 8:44, "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."

Acts 13:10, "And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?"

1 John 3:8, "He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil."

God is serious about His hatred for this whole occult thing. He doesn't think that witches and devils and magic are cute or fun or something that should be the least bit celebrated in a joyous way. And if God doesn't think these things should be celebrated in a fun or joyous way, neither do I.

Call me old fashioned if you will, but I am one of those Christians that genuinely wants to do what God says.

The next question that I am usually asked by the growing Christian woman who is wondering about how she should handle this whole Halloween thing is this ~ "Have you ever celebrated Halloween?"

"Yes," I tell her, "Before I knew how God really felt about it, I celebrated it just like everybody else you know does. We dressed up. We went to parties. And we bought candy and handed it out. As a matter of fact, if you look in my family photo albums you will find a picture of me as a great pumpkin and my daughter Sabrina dressed up like a scary little witch. Yes, a scary little witch. Black hair, black lips, black hat, black dress, and a broom to boot."

What kind of a mother dresses her little girl up like a witch for Halloween? The kind of mother that doesn't know any better.

But those days are passed and now I do know better. And since I do, I have made the decision that Halloween is not for me. I don't dress up. I don't hand out candy. I don't carve jack-o-laterns. I don't watch scary movies or visit haunted houses either.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why God is so adamant about warning us about associating with the occult? I have. And as I have studied His thoughts on this, and the history of the traditions that are commonly celebrated at Halloween as well, I have come to this conclusion ~ He knows how dangerous and damaging the devil and his occult practices can be. He has dealt with the devil from the beginning. He has seen everything that he has done to steal, kill and destroy and He wants to protect His people from him.

As a born again Christian, I am one of those people that He wants to protect, and I'm so thankful for that. How wonderful it is to be cared for by the All Knowing and Almighty Creator Savior God.

What do I think about Halloween? I think it is a time when the devil seeks to steal, kill and destroy the faith and good testimony of the people that he can get to participate in it. Because of this, I have made the decision that Halloween is not for me.

And if you are a born again Christian, you might want to prayerfully consider whether or not it should be for you either.

"What's Your Name Again?"

Last week I was over at my daughter Sabrina's house helping with the kids and stuff because she was sick. Sabrina has been such a big blessing and help to me over the past six months, and I was thrilled to be able to do something to help her in return.

While I was there, Conner and I did a bit of laundry together. We would gather up the laundry, the detergent and our quarters and walk down three flights of stairs to the little laundromat in their building to do it.

Sabrina does this every week with two small children. My hat goes off to her.

After about our fourth trip down, Conner was getting very tired and cranky. He had also been sick the week before, and he was still recovering himself.

"I don't wanna be here anymore!" he shouted to me from his place up against the door. "I wanna go back home!"

"I do too," I told him, "But we have to finish what we are doing first."

"I don't want to! I wanna go NOW!"

"I do too," I told him again, "But we must finish folding these clothes first."

"I DON'T LIKE YOU!" he shouted, and then he shouted it again.

"Well, I like you very much. We will be finished in a minute and then we can go back upstairs."

"I WANNA GO NOW! I DON'T LIKE YOU! I AM LEAVING NOW!" he shouted again.

I really did feel quite sorry for the little fellow, but I didn't know what to do. I had to finish folding the clothes so that I could bring them up with us, so I just calmly said, "I sure do like you. As a matter of fact, I sure do LOVE you. I'm just about done. Just one more minute."

After I said this, he looked at me for a moment and then he said this . . . "What's your name again?"

"My name is Gramma," I told him.

"Gramma," he said in a sweet little voice, "I wuv you."

"I love you too," I told him.

Then I grabbed the bag of folded clothes, took hold of his little boy hand, and we walked peacefully up the stairs together as we headed back to his home.

It's so easy to say things we don't mean when we get frustrated, isn't it? And it is so easy for others to do the same as well.

I remember when Sabrina would get mad at me when she was just a little girl. She would stand up straight, put her little hands on her hips and look at me sternly and say, "I never, never my Mommy!"

When her sister Kina was upset with me she would say, "Mommy, I need to talk to you for a moment. I don't think you are being very nice to me. I think you need to change the way you are behaving."

Everyone responds differently to stress. Some hold it in and some are more verbal about it. Either way we need to let it go and not make a big deal about it. Stressful people don't really mean the mean things that they say. Especially when the stressful ones are little children.

I ♥ Mondays!

I love Mondays. I always have.

When I was just a little girl my mom taught me that Monday was the day we could all push the reset button and start things over anew and afresh.

As I grew a little older, I learned that Mondays were the days that I would see my friends again at school and the day that my social life could launch a new course again.

After I got married and had children, I used Mondays to get started with things. It was the day I made a new "to do list" for the week, organized my house work that needed to get done, and it was the day that I began to focus on the school activities that my girls needed to accomplish during the week.

Now that I am a Pastor's Wife, I love Mondays for an entirely different reason. Nowadays the reason that I love Mondays so much is because Monday is the day of the week that I have set aside to spend the majority of its day with my God.

Monday is the day that I spend lots and lots of time in the scriptures ~ reading my daily Bible reading and studying for my Sunday School lessons. It is also the day that I spend the most time praying. Although I have an organized prayer list for every day, because I am usually home alone with God all day on Mondays, I am able to pray longer for so many more people and things.

Is that all I do on Mondays? Just spend time with God? Well, yes and no. Just like every other woman who is a full-time home worker, I have beds to make and rooms to tidy, dinner to make and clothes to wash. But I have tried to make it a priority to keep this day a day that is not entangled too much with the "issues" of others. I try real hard to limit myself to doing physical things that God and I can enjoy doing together.

I love Mondays. I always have. It's the first real workday of my week. And I love work. I really do. And the most important work that I do is to prepare myself spiritually to deal with everything else that is going to come at me as the remaining days of the week unfold.

And you know what? As I have taken the opportunity to make the most of my Mondays over the years, God has been kind and given me the strength and attitude to be able to enjoy the most out of the rest of the week as well.

Enjoy your Mondays. They are a gift from God. He has given us Mondays as a day to begin again. To start afresh. To get ourselves organized again. To get filled up.

Make the most of them. If you do, they will help the rest of the week to make the most of you ♥.

Southern Grace

I returned home a few hours ago from attending this year's Ladies Spectacular at the First Baptist Church in Hammond. What a wonderful event it was!

The auditorium platform was decorated so nicely with yellow roses and greenery and the theme colors of yellow, black and white were refreshing.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend the early morning sessions or the Thursday evening session, but the sessions that I did attend were fabulous!

We heard so many great messages on speaking graciously, being gracious home keepers, standing strong in times of weakness, and a variety of topics were taught during the special Thursday afternoon split sessions.

I was invited to speak during the Parent/Adult Relationships session, and I enjoyed listening to the wise advice that was given by the other speakers as well. My topic was "How to Stay Close Without Choking Out Your Kids". Many said that it was helpful and encouraging, and for that I am glad.

My very favorite part of the whole conference was the opportunity to see Mrs. Hyles again and hear her speak. I miss her presence in my weekly life. Mrs. Hyles is the most gracious Christian woman that I have ever met. She loves the Lord with all her heart and she has such a sweet love for others as well. I had the wonderful opportunity of spending time with Mrs. Hyles through the Hylander Wives ministry when my husband was at Bible College, and her beautiful womanhood was such an inspiration to me. It was so nice to hear her speak again. I told my husband that I wish she had a daily radio show that I could turn on and listen to each and every day. The world needs more women like her, she is just such an encouragement to so many.

The other highlight of my time at Ladies Spectacular this year was spending the days with my sweet daughter Sabrina. Both of her little guys were old enough to leave at home with Daddy this year and it was so great to sit with her and just "hang out". On Thursday afternoon Kina came up to listen to my talk and it was so nice having them both there together.

Mrs. Schaap has done a wonderful job with the whole Christian Womanhood ministry. The magazine that they put out is first class and the annual Spectacular is a very encouraging event.

One of my dear friends, Helen Sweet gave me a card on the first day with some money in it to buy a special something with. I took that money and purchased the book "Southern Grace", a book written by Cindy Schaap about her mother's gracious testimony and I am thoroughly enjoying reading it.

I love ladies conference events. I love to listen to ladies teach. I love learning about how to live a better Christian life.

Even Better, Sambucol and Other Neat Things I've Discovered Lately

About a week ago I was in need of some new foundation and I discovered the most wonderful product for my oily skin that tends to break out when it sits under foundation too long.

What is the name of this wonderful new product that I discovered? Even Better foundation by Clinique. The coverage that it provides is amazing and it stays on all day without becoming the least bit greasy. It looks natural, or I should say, it makes my face look like it is naturally more flawless than it is. I love this stuff and I would encourage anybody looking for a new foundation to try it.

Another product that I have discovered this last week is something called Sambucol. It is a natural immune booster made from elderberries and it is fantastic! Last week I was struggling with a nasty cold (which I was sure was going to become something more serious) and after taking 2 teaspoons of this stuff every day for the past 7 days I feel better than ever. I bought it at Walgreens for $12.99 and it tastes a little like licorice. They also make a Sambucol Plus product that is specifically for colds and such, but I bought the plain one because my main interest right now is strengthening my immune system (which has been through the ringer this past year).

In an effort to strengthen and rebuild my internal system I have also discovered two other pretty amazing products that I am loving ~ Omega 3-6-9 and Joint Advantage Gold.

The Omega 3-6-9 is a combination of Omega 3 fish oil, flax oil and Borage Oil that is supposed to strengthen and promote good heart health, cognitive function, and healthy skin and hair. It has a lemony taste (which is much better than the fishy one that usually comes with this kind of a product). This particular product is made by Natrol and I purchased it from Wal-Mart for less than $10.00.

The Joint Advantage Gold supplement is a combination of herbs that are supposed to strengthen my joints and tendons and reduce my inflammation and pain. For the past six months I have been taking very strong pain medication (for which I have been very thankful for), and now that I am healing and getting better, it is my desire to get off the pain meds completely. I believe that this product is going to help me to be able to do this. I ordered this product from the web-site of Dr. David Williams and I think the price of it was around $30.00.

It has been six months since my first shoulder surgery and I am so happy to report that I believe I am finely on the up side of all of this. Every day I feel myself getting stronger and I am able to do more and more each day.

I love discovering new things. If you have discovered something new lately that you are thrilled about, please share it with me because I would love to hear about it!

Precious In His Sight

Today was my day to be an altar worker. As I was standing up on the side of the altar after the evening service, my heart was overwhelmed by the sight I saw at the altar.

Children. So many children. On their knees with their faces buried in their arms. Praying. Praying for God to bless them and help them.

As I was watching them, I caught the sight of a little girl to my left asking her Mom if she could go forward. She wanted to be at the altar with the other children. She wanted to pray. She needed to pray.

As I watched this little girl kneel at the altar and bury her head into her folded arms, my eyes began to fill with tears.

I love this little girl so much. I pray for her Mom and Dad every day. I love her sister that struggles. I love this family so much.

Her desire to go to the altar and pray to the God she has just recently trusted as her Saviour encouraged me. She is only four years old. And yet, she knows.

She knows that Jesus died on the cross so that she can be saved. She has been learning about Him in Sunday School. She is learning about how much He loves her. She is learning about how much He cares about her needs.

The other little children are learning this too. And they are hungry to know. They are hungry to know about a God who loves and cares about them.

Some of them come from broken homes. Many of them live difficult lives. But when they come to church they feel free. Free of the burdens that are so heavy. Free of the feeling of being unloved. Free of the pain that their daily heartbreaks bring.

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
All are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Jesus loves the little children. They are precious in His sight. He loves to see them at the altar. His heart is blessed to hear their prayers.

Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight. Jesus is no respecter of persons. All the children are special to Him. He doesn't care how they come dressed, whether their hair gets fixed or not, if their teeth are rotting, or if they had trouble sitting still during the church service.

When He looks down and sees them kneeling at the altar, His heart is pleased. They are the humble ones. They are the trusting ones. They are the ones who really believe it all. They are the ones who make His heart smile.

Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white. They are precious in His sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.

I'm so thankful for all the little children that come to the Grace Baptist Church. Their wholehearted love for God and being in church inspires me.

Jesus loves the little children of our church . . . He loves them so very much . . . and their Pastor and their Pastor's Wife love them so very much too ♥.

Wives & Daughters

Last night my husband and I stayed up late to watch the film "Wives & Daughters." This is something that we very rarely have the opportunity to do, and we had so much fun doing it!

The film was fabulous. It is the story about a man who lost his wife when his daughter was just a little girl and then later marries "what he considered to be a nice woman" so that his seventeen year old daughter could have the "motherly influence" that he believed that she needed at this time in her life.

We both enjoyed the way the film illuminated the value of good character that is tested, and the reality of remarriage and misunderstandings. The scenery in this film is stunning ~ England is such a beautiful place.

Although this was not a Christian film, per se, I found the emphasis on the fact that "father is enough" so biblically refreshing. In this day and age of Christian feminism, so many women have been led to believe that Mother is the most important person in the home.

But you know what? According to the Word of God, this is not really true. I was telling my husband the other day that I couldn't find anywhere in the Bible where God called the people to be overly concerned about the motherless. Now, I'm sure that many people were . . . but the emphasis for His concern in His Word is continually on the fatherless.

I found 43 verses in the Bible that speak about the concern over children being fatherless, and not one single verse that speaks anything about a special concern because a child has found himself motherless. Isn't that interesting?

Does this mean that God is implying that children don't need their mothers or that being a mother is not important? Of course not! There are many verses in the Bible that speak about the importance of a mother's love and care. But I do believe that it does mean that God wants us mothers to remember that we are not the most important.

There is a trend in society today, and sometimes even in the local church, of viewing the role of the father as nonessential. As an added bonus. Something extra that makes things a little bit more special.

But the truth of the matter is that Dad is the most important person in the home and the main person that our children need in their lives. This will come as a surprise to many and a conviction to some.

A surprise because they have never really studied the family in light of scripture . . . and a conviction because they have treated the father of their children as if he were a second class citizen.

If you want your children to grow up to become secure in who they are and confident in who God is, let Dad be the one they love the most, trust the most, and turn to the most.

You be the comforter when they get sick and the one who provides the meals and the clean house. You be the one who enforces the rules and keeps the communication lines open. You be the one to pray for them and encourage them as they go through their everyday issues of life. You be the one that shows them how to love and respect their father. You be the one to make sure that they are enjoying a great relationship with him.

"But what if he is not worthy of all this love, respect and attention?" I can hear some of you already say. Give it to him anyhow. None of us are really worthy of all the love, respect and attention that we seem to receive from others, but as we receive it, we are encouraged to live up to it, aren't we?

My children adore their Dad. He is their favorite. And it is only by the grace and mercy of God that he is. Heaven only knows how much I have done over the years to discourage it . . . but Heaven also knows that over the past many years I have been doing all I can to encourage it.

And believe it or not, it's working. Nowadays, my husband is not only my children's favorite, he is all our favorite! He is the one we call when we need help and encouraged. He is the one we turn to when we get into trouble or need good advice. And he is the one we want to notice us and approve of what we are doing.

Wives and daughters. My daughters need their Daddy and their Daddy needs me. And because I have been willing to do what I can to encourage the hearts of my children to be turned favorably towards their father, I have noticed that their father is doing what he can to turn the best of his heart towards me.

And speaking as a wife that has spent time on both sides of her husband's heart over these past 28 years of marriage, I can definitely say that being on the best side is the better place to be ♥.

Shopping Together

"Try these," my husband said as he handed me a pair of designer glasses to try on. We were at the optical place in JC Penney's and I was desperately trying to find a conservative pair of black rimmed glasses.

"Those look perfect!" he exclaimed.

"You think so? But what about these diamonds on the side in the shape of a flower? Don't you think that is a little much?"

"Nope, you need to listen to your man. They are beautiful on you! They are just your style."

"I don't know. I just don't know. They ARE beautiful," I told him, "But I thought the goal was for me to find a conservative looking pair of glasses this time."

"Those are the ones. You should get them. They are perfect on you."

Yes, they are perfect. Perfectly expensive and perfectly noticeable by anybody a mile away from me.

And such is the trend as I shop with my husband. He pulls out all of the designer stuff. The showy things. The beautiful things. The things that sometimes make me a little bit nervous and have me looking a little too good :).

My husband has the best taste in things. At the end of our shopping spree today I came home with the cutest shift/dress/long jacket thing, a skirt suit and two cute sweaters. He even managed to get us a better deal on everything!

But I didn't come home with a new pair of glasses. I decided to wait for a few months until my next eye exam is due. Maybe then I can try the new bifocal contacts that are out . . . or maybe by then I might even be brave enough to wear those Vogue designer glasses with the diamond flowers on the side!

Hayden, the Tin Foil and the Toilet Water

Our little grandson Hayden is one years old and he is the cutest little fellow. Everything about him is cute. His little pudgy face, his little button nose, his sweet little voice, his chubby little finger that points to everything and his happy little "bear hugs" that he gives so generously to just about everybody make him just the cutest little fellow around.

Yesterday Sabrina and I were talking about some of the crazy things that his three year old brother Conner comes up with to say and she said this, "You know Mom, Conner might say crazy things, but Hayden is the one who does them!"

Then she proceeded to tell me this story . . .

"Take for instance yesterday. I'm in the bedroom folding laundry and I hear 'crinkle, crinkle, crinkle.' I think to myself, "What on earth could that be?" So I go out into the living room and there I see Hayden jumping on a big pile of foil wrap. FOIL WRAP! You know the kind that normal people keep in their cupboard to use for cooking? Well, some how Hayden got a hold of mine and unrolled the whole thing and was jumping on it in the living room. This kid does the craziest things!"

It's true. He does. He really does. The other day he was over at my house eating the pine cones from a glass vase in the den. Mind you, he practically gags whenever his mother tries to feed him real food, but he will eat a pine cone like it is nobody's business.

And remember the chocolate? Chocolate is his favorite food. No gagging when he eats that food.

But my favorite story of Hayden and his crazy antics is about his love for playing in the bathroom. A few months ago Sabrina called me and told me about this little episode . . .

"Mom, Hayden absolutely LOVES the bathroom. It is his favorite place to play. I try to keep him out of there as much as possible, but with Conner going potty and all, sometimes the door gets left open. And you know where I usually find him? Standing on the potty chair and looking in the mirror. It's hilarious. But that's not all. The other day I found him standing by the toilet with one hand holding the lid up and the other swishing around in the toilet water! That is so gross! He thinks that playing in the toilet water is so much fun. He just throws a fit when I make him stop. Hayden is such a cutie, but he likes to do the strangest things."

Yes he does. And he reminds me exactly of his own mother, when she was just a little thing, who used to do the strangest things as well.

The Worst Part

Today I went to see my new family practice doctor to follow up on my urgent care visit and guess what I found out? I found out that I have kidney stones! Isn't that a riot? I didn't know that it was possible for a kidney stone to survive in a body that drinks 64 ounces of water each day, but I guess when you take medicine to reduce pain and inflammation, anything is possible!

The doctor sent me over for a CT scan and they discovered that I have two kidney stones in the upper part of my left kidney. One is 5 mm and the other is 3 mm. Both are a pretty decent size and will have to be "shattered" by ultrasound so that they will be able to pass through without causing severe damage.

But that wasn't the worst news. The worst news was that I discovered that I have gained 7 pounds since my surgery in April!!! This not a good thing. I'm already a little "fluffy" and with good bit of added weight . . . well, let's just say I'm heavier than is healthy for my little ole' 5 foot 2 inch frame.

So . . . where do I go from here? Well, first I go to Walgreen's to get a round of antibiotics to heal the damage from the kidney stone that already passed and caused the bleeding. Then I go back to the doctor for a follow up appointment on Thursday, and from there I will be referred to a Urologist to break up the stones in manageable sizes. And tonight, I am headed down stairs to bring out the good old trusty Weight Watchers books so that I can figure out a workable plan for me to lose the excess baggage that I have been carrying around for the past few years.

To tell you the truth, I'm relieved. Although no one in their right mind wants to have a kidney stone or two or three, it sure beats cancer. That's for sure.

God is good. He knows exactly what is going on. This has been a very challenging year for me physically (pneumonia, two shoulder surgeries, kidney stones), but so what? Most everybody is struggling with something or another.

I'm thankful for good doctors, effective medicine, a great husband, encouraging friends and a loving God that have helped me so much over the past many months. It is my goal to get off the "being blessed" side and get busy being a blessing . . . but it looks like I may have to wait just a little bit longer to get started :).

That's Called Lying

On Sunday morning Sabrina stepped into her bathroom and noticed that someone had drawn lines all over her bathroom sink with her eye liner pencil. Having a sneaky suspicion who that someone might be, she called her three year old son Conner into the bathroom to ask him about it.

"Yes Mommy," he said as he entered into the room.

"Conner, I want you to come and look at what someone did to this sink. Do you know who did this?"

"Daddy did it."

"Daddy did it? Well, let's call Daddy in here and ask him about it."

"Daddy!" she called, "Will you come into the bathroom for a minute?"

"What do you need?" Daddy said as he came into the room.

"Did YOU draw in the sink with my eyeliner pencil?"

"Uh, no," he said as he looked at her like she might be a little crazy. After all, why on earth would HE do something like this when he has so many other important things to do with his time?

"Conner, Daddy did not do this. Who did this Conner?" she asked her little three year old son again.

"YOU did it!" he exclaimed, thinking that he was being oh so clever in avoiding the blame for all this. The mind of a three year old is really so very simple, isn't it? They manage to do the most complicated things, but they still think so simply, don't they?

"No Conner, Mommy didn't do this. Who did this?"

"YOU did it!" he exclaimed again.

"Conner, I did not do it, that's called lying." And then she sp*nked him and said, "Now Conner, tell me the truth, who did this?"

"YOU did it." he said again.

"I told you that is lying," she said again and sp*nked him again.

"Now Conner, I want you to tell me the truth. Who did this?"

"I did it Mommy."

"Thank you for telling me the truth," she told him as she reached down and gave him a great big hug. "It is always right to tell the truth."

"Okay mommy."

The Bible teaches us in Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, that is why they have no trouble doing foolish things. It was foolish for Conner to take Sabrina's eyeliner pencil and draw all over the sink with it, wasn't it? I mean, let's face it, that is not something that a grown up person would do, is it? And it was even more foolish for him to blame someone else for doing it ~ especially when that someone else was his dad or mom.

But he's still so simple minded that he doesn't realize the folly of his foolishness yet, and that is why he has to be corrected. And the Bible teaches us that if his parents want that foolishness to be driven far from him, that they must use the rod of correction to do it.

No parent likes to sp*nk their child. Sabrina tried her hardest to reason with him first. She spent much time talking to him and appealing to his conscience to "come clean" before she even thought about giving him a sp*nking. But after trying to talk to him about all this, she found that talking to a little child whose conscience hasn't fully developed yet doesn't really work.

But using the rod of correction did. And as she used it, God worked in his little heart to convince him that he needed to fess up and tell the truth.

The rod of correction gave him the courage to tell the truth. I'll be honest with you, I'm the first one to admit that I don't understand how it works, but I know it works, because I saw it work in the lives of my own two daughters as I was raising and training them.

God knows best about everything. And you know why? Because He is the creator of it all. He knows the way things are supposed to work and exactly how everything in this life is to be handled. And if we will humble ourselves and do things the way He tells us to . . . the Bible teaches us that we will experience good success.

Children need to be trained to be good. It just doesn't happen naturally. It takes a lot of time and a lot of hard work. But the Bible promises us in Proverbs 22:6 that if we will train up our children in the way that they should go, that they will not depart from it when they are old.

Sabrina is a busy mother these days training and correcting her little three year old son. At times it seems like a non-stop thing. At times she might wonder if all her effort will really make a difference later on as he is grown.

I am continually encouraging her that it does and that it will.

I Thought I Was Doing Better . . . And Now This

For the past few days I have been feeling great. For the first time in many months, I have been waking up and actively enjoying my days. I was even able to go shopping at the mall on Tuesday, make it to church on Wednesday night, do my own grocery shopping on Thursday and teach the home school moms at our monthly Bible Study on Friday. As a matter of fact, I felt so good after I was done teaching on Friday that I headed out to the Promenade to look for a new pair of glasses and do more personal shopping.

I have been feeling so good, and then this morning I woke up to blood in my urine. Have any of you ever experienced this? This is the first time I have. When I saw it, I wasn't necessarily alarmed. I'm not sure what I thought it was all about, but since I have been on so much medication and through so much surgery and physical therapy and stuff, I just figured it had something to do with my body finally showing me that it has had enough!

So I waited to see if it would continue . . . and it did. So I called my doctor's office for some advice and they said that I needed to go to the Urgent Care clinic to be seen.

So I went and while I was there I discovered that I was running a fever and that my urine is filled with blood but no infection.

Hmmm. The doctor wrote me out a prescription but suggested that I wait to take it until they send my stuff to a different lab for some more testing.

Fine with me. I'm getting pretty sick and tired of taking so much medication.

Just when I thought I was getting better . . . now this. More problems with this here not so old body.

What could it be? The doctor explained to me that it could be anything from a polyp or tumor to a kidney stone (am I experiencing any pain? of course I am. I live in pain. and I also live on pain meds, so I don't have any idea of the real extent of my pain) or maybe even cancer (but that's a long shot, praise the Lord).

My husband was so sweet. I called him to tell him that I was on the way to the Urgent Clinic and after he was done with his counseling appointments he came to sit with me. God rewarded his kindness by allowing the Ohio State game to be playing on the television while he was there :).

So, what am I doing about all of this? I'm doing my best to just do the next thing. I have called my friend Karen and asked her to have a lesson ready in case this fever thing gets worse and I can't make it to Sunday School in the morning. When my daughter Kina called I asked her if she would bring lunch tomorrow so that I know everyone will enjoy a good meal. And I took a warm bath and put my pajamas on so that I can be comfortable. Right now I am writing this as I am sitting here hooked up to the ice machine to help reduce the swelling in my arm.

I'm ready to get better, but I guess God has different plans. And what God says goes. I thought I was on my way to full recovery, and now this. This new thing that I have never experienced. This new thing that will open the door to even more testing and doctor visits. This new thing which will cause me to draw even closer to my God and be even more grateful for the great people that are helping me to get things done in my daily life.

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes." Psalm 119:71

Children Say the Craziest Things!

Today Sabrina took Conner and Hayden to the McDonalds little playland near her house to play with a friend of theirs from church.

While they were there playing, Conner got hit in the face.

"What happened to you?" Sabrina asked him as he walked up to her crying hysterically.

"A white girl hit him," the little Mexican boy standing next to him said.

"Yea, a white girl hit me," Conner repeated.

Sabrina said she couldn't help but start laughing. What a crazy thing to say. A white girl. Why not just "some girl"? Why a "white girl"?

Children say the craziest things. And I'm afraid that many times the reason that they say these things is because that's what they learn from the adults that are teaching them.

"Now Conner," Sabrina said to him after he calmed down a bit, "Tell me exactly what happened to you."

"A white girl hit me," was his reply.

"Conner, you are white. That's ridiculous. Who was it that hit you?"

"A white girl hit me. And now I want to go home."

When she called and told me this, I was laughing hysterically. Children say the craziest things!

About twenty minutes after she called me, she and the kids stopped by to visit me at one of the stores that I was shopping at.

"Hi Conner!" I said as I scooped him up and gave him a great big hug. "How are you doing? I hear that you went to play at McDonalds with your friends today. Did you have a good time?"

"A white girl hit me."

"What?"

"A white girl hit me."

"Well, did you hit her back?"

"No, I just told mommy that I wanted to go home."

I couldn't help but laugh as they left to go home. Children say the craziest things. They say things that they hear someone else say and they don't even know what they mean.

When my daughter Kina was five years old she came home from kindergarten one day and looked at me and said, "Oh Mom, you old hag!"

I looked back at her and said, "Kina, do you even know what that word means?"

"No mommy," she said.

"It means a witch."

"Oh," she said with a look of horror on her face, "I'm sorry mommy. I didn't mean to call you that."

"No, I would hope you didn't."

Children say the craziest things. For the most part, they don't mean any harm by what they say. They just repeat what they have been taught or told.

And we laugh . . . because after all . . . it is really quite funny :).

Good Wives Make Their Husband Look Good

There are a few more lessons left in this "Good Wives" series, and today we are going to talk about the truth God has for us in Proverbs 31:23, "Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land."

I want to begin by sharing with you what two respected Bible commentaries have to say about this verse. I think you will be surprised by what they say (I know I was):

Adam Clarke in his commentary has this to say:

"She is a loving wife, and feels for the respectability and honour of her husband. He is an elder among his people, and he sits as a magistrate in the gate. He is respected not only on account of the neatness and cleanliness of his person and dress, but because he is the husband of a woman who is justly held in universal esteem. And her complete management of household affairs gives him full leisure to devote himself to the civil interests of the community."

Matthew Poole's Commentary explains it this way:

"Known; observed and respected, not only for his own worth, but for his wife's sake; not only for those rich ornaments which by her care and diligence she provides for him, which others of his brethren, by reason of their wives' sloth or luxury, are not able to procure, but also for his wisdom in choosing, and his happiness in enjoying, so excellent a wife, by whose prudent care, in the management of his domestic concerns, he hath perfect freedom wholly to attend upon public affairs."

For years I believed that this verse was talking about me decreasing my public image so that my husband could be the best known person from our family. And although I still believe that this effort is an important part of my being a good wife to my husband, after studying this verse, in its context, I'm realizing that what God is really calling me to do is to step it up and make sure that my personal testimony and support for him is noted as excellent by him and those that he is known by.

Wow. That's a big deal, isn't it? It was easy when I thought all I had to do was become a meek and quiet wife and mind my own business. But making sure that my own reputation as being "a good catch" is kept up to par . . . well, that will take a lot of dedication and work, won't it?

What kind of work will it take? It will take the kind of work that we have been talking about in the past seven lessons. It will take being trustworthy, industrious, a good housekeeper, dressing nicely, and being kind and helpful to others. It will take a lot of hard work, and hard work is what it takes if you want to have a good testimony among others.

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 12:4, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."

Matthew Henry's Commentary explains this better than I ever could:

1. He that is blessed with a good wife is as happy as if he were upon the throne, for she is no less than a crown to him. A virtuous woman, that is pious and prudent, ingenious and industrious, that is active for the good of her family and looks well to the ways of her household, that makes conscience of her duty in every relation, a woman of spirit, that can bear crosses without disturbance, such a one owns her husband for her head, and therefore she is a crown to him, not only a credit and honour to him, as a crown is an ornament, but supports and keeps up his authority in his family, as a crown is an ensign of power. She is submissive and faithful to him and by her example teaches his children and servants to be so too. 2. He that is plagued with a bad wife is as miserable as if he were upon the dunghill; for she is no better than rottenness in his bones, an incurable disease, besides that she makes him ashamed. She that is silly and slothful, wasteful and wanton, passionate and ill-tongued, ruins both the credit and comfort of her husband. If he go abroad, his head is hung down, for his wife's faults turn to his reproach. If he retire into himself, his heart is sunk; he is continually uneasy; it is an affliction that preys much upon the spirits.

Just like many of you, I want to be a crown to my husband. I don't want him, or anybody else for that matter, to see me as something that has brought rottenness to his bones.

But in order for me to be that crown to my husband, I must accept the fact that there are certain things that I must do to be a good representative of him.

I'll give you an example. My husband is a big one on personal appearance. He likes everyone in his family to be well-groomed and dressed nicely. I am a woman that loves to be comfortable. And I feel the most comfortable in loose fitting jumpers, culottes, and my pajamas and bathrobe! I am the kind of lady that would be happy as a lark to wear "Little House on the Prairie" dresses and styles from those dear Jane Austen films that most of us enjoy so much. However . . . I rarely get the opportunity to wear any of these things, because my husband doesn't consider them attractive.

What does he like to see me in? He likes to see me in fitted and stylish things. Nothing immodest (of course) ~ my dear husband feels the same way about "sleezy wear" as he does about "frumpy wear". And even though I am not always comfortable in the things that he would want me to wear, I wear them because I know that doing so makes him feel the best represented.

My husband also has a thing about my being overweight. He doesn't want to be married to a fat woman. If you are married to a man that doesn't care about your weight, lucky you! You are blessed! Be thankful! Count your blessings, not many of us have it that way :). And by the way, to the many women that will be offended by this, it doesn't matter in the least to him what YOU weigh :).

My husband is not one of those men. He is diligent about keeping his body in shape and he expects me to do the same. That's why I am back to eating properly and going to the gym each day. For me it's not a vain thing, it's a good wife thing.

Are you starting to get the whole idea about this thing? Good wives make sure they do everything they can to make their husband look good. If it means dressing nicely and keeping yourself in shape, then so be it.

But guess what? For many men, it often means much more than this.It means that they want to be represented by clean and beautiful home (and car:)!) as well. And when they find that their wives don't keep up with the housework in a diligent manner, they become just as frustrated as my husband does when he sees me in my beloved culottes and t-shirt :).

As women that want to be good wives, it is important that we understand that who we are and how we do things is a reflection of the men we are married to. Our husbands are being judged by the world around them for who they are AND for who we are as well. In this day and age of 50-50 feminism, this will be a hard pill to swallow, but if we love the Lord and have a heart to bring glory and honor to HIM . . . then we will do whatever He says to bring respect and honor to our husbands as well.

Good wives do whatever it takes to make their husband look good. May God bless and encourage all of us as we do what it takes :).

P.S. This seems to be a very hard teaching for many women. I have received many comments expressing "the problem" women have with a man that has personal standards and desires for his wife. And that's okay, each one of you are entitled to your opinion. But I would encourage all of us to humble ourselves and have a heart for God's truth . . . which in this passage is this . . . that it is our husband that is to be known and respected for who he is and who he is associated with . . . not us, his wife, for how comfortable we are and how well we are treated :).

The Princess & The Poopie

Boys and girls are different. Even from a young age they each represent themselves in different ways. And you know what? I have the family stories to prove it!

When my girls were little, their whole lives were centered about being a princess. "Is this pretty? I want the pretty one? I want to be special. Everyone notice me. Look at me dancing around in my princess dress. I get the first one. I'm the most special. I'll be the princess and every one else can serve me."

If you have ever had the privilege of raising daughters, you know exactly what I mean.

Boys, on the other hand, are much different. Their whole interest surrounds itself around poop and other bodily functions and activities.

Yesterday I called my daughter Sabrina to see how she was feeling. While we were on the phone, my three year old grandson Conner asked to speak to me. "Hi Gramma, whatcha doin?" he said.

"I'm just driving home from physical therapy, what are you doing?"

"I'm pooping in the potty."

"Oh," I told him, "Well, that's nice."

Then I heard his mommy say, "Give that phone back to me." When she got back on the phone, she said, "I don't know why he said that, he has not been pooping on the potty. I don't know why he is always saying things like that."

I know why. It's because he is a little boy. And little boys love things to do with poop and other things that gross everybody out.

One time when I was playing trains with Conner I asked him, "What is the name of your train?"

"Poopie," he replied.

Of course.

Sabrina will ask him, "What would you like for breakfast Conner?"

"I want poop," he says.

Sabrina, being a step ahead of this little poopie infatuated fellow says to him, "Okay then, you can have poop for breakfast while the rest of us have normal food."

Of course he really didn't want that. He just enjoyed saying it.

And so the differences are demonstrated. But they don't just end there, do they? Another difference that I have noticed is that boys are focused on competing and girls are focused on comparing.

When our girls were little, every day they asked us questions like this ~ "Whose is the best? Who do you love best? Who looks the prettiest? Who is the winner?"

I have never once heard Conner ask me this. But I have heard him tell me, over and over again, "Look at me Gramma, I'm the winner. I beat Hayden. I do this better than Papa."

Boys compete and girls compare. They are so different.

Now I know that there are always exceptions to the rule, but in general, boys are aggressive by nature and girls are prissy.

And you know why? Because that's the way that God made them. He has fearfully and wonderfully made each gender to serve and support specific roles and responsibilities in this world, and even though we all start out on the sinful foot trying to do them . . . it is still important to understand that boys and girls have been made to be different.

Do everybody a favor and embrace the difference. It's not there to be altered. It's there to be developed.

God made them different. Different by design. Different in desires. Different in the duties that they will need to perform in this life.

Embrace the difference. Go with the flow. Develop their skills and desires in a way that will bring glory and honor to God. Make the young men tough ~ tough enough to work hard and handle the troubles when they come. And make the young ladies beautiful ~ beautiful enough to bring happiness to their homes and a spirit of love and kindness into the lives of everyone that they meet.

Field Trip Fun

This past week my husband and I had the opportunity to take Conner to the zoo in celebration of his third birthday. We can hardly believe that our little Conner is already three years old! What a little delightful fellow he is growing up to become.

I wish you could have seen how excited he was to go to the zoo with us . . . all alone, without his baby brother :). When we first told him that we would take him to the zoo for his birthday, he said, "And not Hayden?"

"And not Hayden," we said.

After that, every time we talked to him about going to the zoo for his birthday he would look at his little brother and say with a great big smile, "And not you Hayden."

Isn't it funny, that even at this young age people love to be enjoyed individually?

When we arrived to pick him up, he was standing in the parking lot with his mom and Hayden and his whole body was smiling :). We spent a few minutes chatting with Sabrina and loving on Hayden and then we left.

As we were driving to the zoo Conner kept asking us, "Is the zoo far far away?" And then he would tell us, "There are only two people at my house today because Conner is not there."

Little people are so sweet to listen to.

Here is the BIG dinosaur at the entry way of the Brookfield Zoo. Conner loves dinosaurs and he was thrilled to see this one up close and personal.

Throughout the day we would hear this enormous thing roar (or talk as Conner put it), and every time it did, Conner would duck and say, "The big dinosaur is coming, we better hide!"

Grandpa treated us to a ride on the carousel as well as to many yummy snacks and the petting zoo. It was such a fun day, and one that all three of us will most likely never forget.

Then on Friday we got up early and took our home school group to the Fair Oaks Dairy Farm in Indiana. What a neat place this was! We learned so much about cows in general ~ for instance, did you know that a cow is called a heifer until she gives birth? Only after she has given birth is she called a cow :). And did you know that cows can smell up to six miles away and that their noses have individual "nose prints" like we have individual finger prints?

We also got to tour the milking barn and learn how the farm uses and recycles just about everything for the good of the farm. Even the cow manure is processed and used for fertilizer and fuel.

The highlight of the trip was watching a calf being born. There is nothing quite like the miracle of birth, is there?

We are so blessed to have such a great group of home school families in our church. I think about 45 of us went on this field trip, and we were missing two of our families. The kids had so much fun and the moms enjoyed being together and the opportunity to learn so much about the whole dairy farm process as well.

Field trips are fun. Even though our own children are grown, it is such a wonderful thing for us to be able to enjoy visiting places like the zoo and farms again with the special little people in our lives . . . our own precious grandchildren . . . and the precious children of our delightful home school families.

Apologies Necessary

Yesterday my husband and I hosted a field trip to the Fair Oaks Dairy Farm in Indiana for our home school families. It was a field trip that everyone was looking forward to and one that I had planned well in advance.

However . . . in the midst of all this surgery and recovery stuff I have felt out of touch with many of my responsibilities . . . and so in an effort to get back in touch with things, I pulled out the info sheet on the event and noticed that it emphasized "central standard time".

As soon as I saw that phrase I panicked. "Oh no!" I thought, I have given all these families the wrong send off time. If we don't leave an hour earlier we are going to be late.

So I telephoned all of the families involved and told them that we had to leave the church at 7:30 a.m. rather than 8:30 a.m.. Even though 7:30 a.m. is early, they were all fine with it.

Well, come to find out, as soon as we arrived at Fair Oaks Farm, one of the moms pointed out to me that they dairy farm was on the same time zone that we were and that it was only 9:30 a.m..

"No it's not," I told her.

"Yes it is. See, it even says so on my telephone," she said back to me.

"It doesn't matter what your telephone says, it's not 9:30 a.m," I told her as I walked out of the bathroom and walked up to meet our guide for the day.

As soon as I reached the podium where the guide was standing, I looked up and saw a digital clock that read "9:30 a.m".

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" I said to her, "I have to do something real quick. I'll be right back."

What did I have to do? I had to go apologize to that mom.

"I'm sorry," I told her, "I'm sorry that I corrected you about the time. You were right and I was wrong."

"That's okay, it's not a big deal," she graciously replied.

Then I went to every other mom that came along with us and apologized to them too.

"I'm so sorry that I got this whole time change thing wrong. We are on the same time zone and we didn't really need to leave an hour earlier. I'm really sorry about this. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course," they all said, "It's really no big deal."

We really do have the sweetest group of home school moms that go to our church.

Then I apologized to my husband and the other man who drove us about the mix up too. They both were kind and said that it was okay too.

I don't know about you, but making apologies is so necessary in my every day life. It seems as though I am often making mistakes that affect people, saying things in a curt way, or just plain saying the wrong thing in a way that brings offense to others. And even though I don't really want to every behave in this way . . . the fact of the matter is that many times I do.

And when I do, I must say I'm sorry.

Just this past week my daughter Kina was talking to me about an idea she had for the wedding. It was an idea that offended me and I reacted rather than responded and I found myself having to call and apologize to her too.

Sometimes I get to talking too freely with my daughter Sabrina and I will say something that is unkind about someone we know and I find myself having to call and apologize to her as well.

The other week I snapped at my husband about something that was nothing and I hurt his feelings. And you know what I had to do? I had to tell him I was sorry and ask him to please forgive me.

Apologies are necessary. They are necessary because they remind the person that we are offending that they aren't the problem. It releases the heavy burden of offense that we have placed upon their heart and mind when we have offended them. And although it doesn't make the situation any better, when we humble ourselves and say that we are sorry it mends our broken relationships and makes them better.

Apologies are necessary. Oh, I know that we can make all kinds of excuses for why we offend people like we do. We can justify ourselves all day long and convince ourselves that everyone else is the problem. But the truth of the matter is that sometimes we DO offend others . . . and when we do . . . God's Word teaches us that in order to be right with Him and others . . . we must make sure that we make things right with Him and others.

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me." Psalms 51:1-3

First Came Marriage . . . Then Came the Children

The other day I read the cutest article in the February issue of Southern Living entitled, "Parents, A Love Story." The caption underneath the title reads: Once upon a time, they were two teenagers in love. And the phrase that is emphasized in the little box with large letters went like this . . . "my parents had been sweethearts! He had sent her flowers! They had gone on dates."

The article begins by telling the story when the author was 7 or 8 years old and discovered her mother's hope chest filled with special mementos of her parent's dating and married life. The writer then goes on to express the joy it gave her to know that even though her parents were happy to be parents and enjoyed being a family of three, that their real thrill was being a married couple of two.

I found this article heartwarming for many reasons. It reminded me of the many wonderful memories I have of my own two parents thoroughly enjoying their relationship and the priority that they put on having fun together (even though they had six children whom they dearly loved and were responsible for). I have so many memories of my mom and dad in their formal wear attending military dress functions, in bowling clothes every Friday night as they headed out to bowl together on their leagues, the dining table filled with yummy snacks as they prepared for friends to come over and play cards with them and playing Yahtzee every night to see "who's the champ". Watching my parents enjoy their marriage relationship so much gave me the desire to make a priority of enjoying mine as well.

As many of you know, both of our children are grown and have been gone out of the house for a handful of years. I remember when our youngest daughter went away to college, my oldest daughter asked my husband "What are you and mom going to do now that Sabrina and I are gone?"

I will never forget his answer. "P is for PARTY!" he told her. And true to his words, we have been having a fun time ever since.

I think it is good to remind each other every now and then that first came marriage, and then came the children. And even though my husband and I loved raising our children and enjoyed every minute of their company while they were growing up . . . our life didn't end when they left home . . . and our fun didn't end either!

After we came home from our Michigan vacation a few weeks ago, our daughter Sabrina asked us if she could have a disk with all our vacation pictures on it. We said sure and I made her the disk. I didn't really think much about it, after all, we are one of those "picture families" that takes pictures of everything and then displays those pictures as "wall art" in our homes :).

Anyhow, a couple of weeks later we received a package in the mail from the Snapfish Company. Inside the box we found a pictorial book of our vacation. Sabrina had taken some of our pictures and put them in a keepsake book that we could treasure forever.

Our children love the fact that their dad and mom still love being together. They love to see us travel together and spend time enjoying each other. It makes them feel secure and it reminds them that the married life is more than just a good thing . . . it is a fun thing as well.

Take care of your marriage. Do whatever it takes to spend time enjoying each other's company on a regular basis. Love the kids, but don't put them first. Remind yourself, again and again, that they didn't come first. Your marriage did. And it's your marriage that will still be around when they grow up and leave.

And believe it or not . . . no matter how much you love and enjoy your children . . . it is God's will that they grow up and leave.

Engaged ♥

This past Saturday our oldest daughter Kina got engaged! She is going to marry such a fine young man and we are so thrilled about this!

On Friday my husband stopped by my physical therapy place to tell me that Jonathan was over at the house doing some filming for a dvd presentation he was making for when he got engaged to Kina. He told me that they would probably be done before I got home and I said ok. Jonathan is a very creative young man and I knew that whatever he planned would be wonderful and I was looking forward to hearing all about it from her whenever it was to happen.

Well, when I got home I noticed that there was a bunch of Jonathan's things laying around, and a few minutes later Jonathan and his friend Jesse came in told me a little bit more about what they were doing. Apparently Jonathan was recreating many of the dating experiences that he and Kina had as if she was missing and he was doing them alone. He wanted to show her how lonely his life would be without her. Isn't that precious? And at the end of the film he plays this song that says, "I want to be your husband, I want you to be my wife." It really is quite the heart mover. This Jonathan is a good thing . . . a very, very good thing.

The next day around dinner time I get a call from Kina . . . "Hi Mom, guess what? I'M ENGAGED!!!! And my ring is gorgeous! Jonathan picked out the diamond himself and had it set especially for me. Do you want to know how he proposed?"

"Of course I do."

"He made me this dvd and left it in my place (he has an extra set of my keys in case I lose mine ~ which made me smile because Kina is one of those pretty girls who tends to lose things :)!). When I came home there was a note that said to watch the dvd and then at the end it pictured him outside of my door and so I went to my door and opened it up and there he was knelt down on one knee asking me to marry him! Isn't that so romantic? I just had to call and tell you. I best go for now, we are going to the Hilton to eat dinner. Talk to you more about it tomorrow."

"Kina's engaged!" I shouted to everyone that was in my house. My husband, mother in law and sister in law were sitting around the kitchen table and every one shouted for joy.

"This is so wonderful," my husband said once we were alone for a few minutes that night, "God has been so good and I'm so thankful for this good man that He has brought for our daughter Kina. We have all been blessed. I'm so very happy for Kina."

The next day was our 8th anniversary celebration at church. We hosted this big event in Dellwood park and after the church service Kina asked me if I would take a bunch of engagement pictures of them.

Of course it was my pleasure and these are the pictures that I am sharing with you.

Later that evening Jonathan and Kina brought over the dvd that he made for her and we all sat downstairs together and watched it. It is incredible. Our daughter is marrying a very thoughtful and creative young man filled with a love for her and a desire to be a good husband to her. She has been so blessed. We have all been blessed. Our cup runneth over.

And so the wedding plans have began. They have picked Saturday, April 17th as the date. Kina is thinking about having a morning wedding with a brunch reception. That will leave plenty of time in the afternoon for pictures to be taken and a nice dinner with the family in the early evening before they leave for their honeymoon.

Honeymoon. What a wonderful thought. My daughter is getting married and will experience the wonderful pleasures of being a wife. She has kept herself pure. She is anxiously awaiting this day. And she is ready.

Ready to be a bride. Ready to be a wife. Ready to be a help meet to her dearly beloved Jonathan Wicks for life.

If you would like to see more pictures . . . visit here.

p.s. I am told that if you want to view the dvd that he made for her you can go to www.youtube.com and type in jonathan and kina and it will come up :). Here is the actual link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLeJTp6KdhA

Sweet Conversations

Lately I have been able to spend lots of time talking to my grandson Conner who will turn three years old one week from today.

Conner is one of my favorite people to talk to because he always has the sweetest things to say.

"Hi Gramma, How ya doing? Are you feewing any better? Are your bobos still hurting?"

"What is that machine Gramma? It looks so crazy! Can I try it Gramma?"

"I wuv you Gramma. Gramma, do you know that I wuv you so much?"

"I wuv your elbows Gramma."

"I like your hair do Gramma."

"Do you want to play outside with me Gramma?"

"I like playing with you Gramma."

"Let's talk together Gramma. Let's talk about everything we can."

"Gramma, do you wanna know who I wuv? I wuv mommy, daddy, papa, Kina and YOU!"

"I miss my mommy Gramma. I really wuv my mommy."

"I wuv your house Gramma. I think I will stay here forever."

"Don't worry about me Papa and Gramma . . . I'm just a little boy!"

"Let's play dinosaurs together Gramma, you stand over there and I will come and get you!"

"I wuv my brother. He's my favorite brother Gramma."

"Did you say your prayers Gramma? You better make sure you pray before you eat."

"Look at me going pee pee in the potty. I'm such a good boy Gramma!"

"Look at me Gramma! I'm strong like my daddy!"

Conner is such a precious little boy with so many sweet things to say. I told Sabrina the other day that I can tell that she must treat him kindly at home because his speech overflows with happy talk when he is away from his home.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

This week I received this question from a dear reader . . . "I am curious to know why the young men in your daughters lives felt the need to ask your husband's 'permission' to tell these young ladies they loved them. I've heard of asking permission to marry daughters but never this. No offense intended at all, just curious because this seemed a bit strange even to me who is a Christian."

This is not the first time that I have been asked this question, so I thought it might be a good thing to answer in a public sort of way.

Here is my answer to this question . . .

The reason that the young men in our daughters lives have felt the need to ask my husband's permission to tell our daughters that they loved them is because they have been trained to respect the role of the father in a daughter's life and have been taught to understand that first comes love, then comes marriage.

The idea and desire to marry our daughters was not birthed at the engagement stage . . . it begins when the love comes. And because these good Christian young men have been trained to honor the role and relationship of the father and his daughter, they seek his permission and his acceptance at this "love" stage before they allow themselves to plan any further.

Where did they get this respectful kind of training? From their own godly parents that attend good, Bible believing, Independent Baptist Churches and from the godly Bible believing, Independent Baptist Colleges that they attend.

I read and hear so much these days about how people are worried about the declining of biblical womanhood and manhood, how they don't know where to send their kids to college, how they don't know where their grown kids are going to find a mate, and so on and so on ~ and every time I read something like this I want to stand on my rooftop with a great big sign that has a great big arrow pointing to one of the many outstanding Baptist Bible Colleges here in America that says, "THIS WAY! THIS WAY!"

What are the names of some of these outstanding Baptist Bible Colleges that are still teaching young men to behave like Christian gentlemen, to respect the young ladies that they date, that encourage chaperoned dates, and respect communication between themselves and the dads of the girls that they are interested in, and teaching young ladies to behave with modesty and femininity? Hyles Anderson College in Crown Point, Indiana. Crown College of the Bible in Powell, Tennessee. West Coast Baptist Bible College in Lancaster, California. Providence Baptist Bible College in Elgin, Illinois. And there are many more, these are just a few that I am personally familiar with.

I'm so thankful for the many great Bible believing churches that are scattered among the many states in our country that are boldly proclaiming God's Word and encouraging the families in their churches to live according to the "good fashioned values" that are found therein. For the past 25 years our family has been blessed to attend so many of them. Not all of them have been Independent Baptist Churches . . . but the majority of the great ones have been.

First comes love, then comes marriage. A good young man will speak to the father of his girl before he tells her he loves her to make sure that everything in their relationship is going along as the father would like. A good Christian young man will respect the relationship that a father has with his daughter . . . knowing that this will most likely be the kind of relationship that she will have with him after they stand before God on their wedding day and she promises to love, honor and obey him as her husband on that day.

Our two daughters have a wonderful relationship with their dad, and I'm so thankful for that. He has been the man in their hearts ever since they were little girls, and they have expressed to him many times (over the years) their desire to please him and honor him as they choose their future mates.

My husband is a great man. He has been a kind and loving dad. His commands have not been burdensome. He has given them plenty of opportunities to enjoy the friendships of many people and to have fun on chaperoned dates. But ever since our girls were little, they were trained to "keep their hearts with all diligence" and to be careful about giving their hearts to just "any old guy". They were taught and trained to save themselves physically and emotionally for that special man that would be brought along by God to be their forever husband one day.

First comes love, then comes marriage . . . we have already been blessed by the marriage of one daughter to a godly young man who asked my husband's permission to tell her he loved her one day . . . and we are anxiously looking forward to celebrating the marriage of our other daughter to the godly young man that God has sent to ask permission to tell her that he loved her in these recent days.

First comes love, then comes marriage . . . then comes those beautiful grandchildren in the baby carriage ♥!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's 75th birthday. I love my dad so much! Besides my husband, my dad is my favorite man on this earth.

It has been said that a girl who loves her dad will grow up and marry someone just like him ~ and with me, that has proven to be true.

My dad was such a great provider for our family while we were growing up. For many years, he would work three and four jobs so that he could earn enough money to make ends meet for our family of eight. He strongly believed in his role as the provider and would never even slightly entertain the thought of my mom working outside of the home to help financially in any way. It's funny, but even after we were all grown up and gone my dad insisted on being the sole provider of the home. My dad is such a great man. And I'm so glad that I grew up to marry someone just like him.

I am my dad's oldest child and his favorite ♥. It's true, and it doesn't matter what my other sisters (I have five of them) have to say about it :)! My dad always made time to spend with each one of us in a special way. I have so many memories of him taking me shopping to the "good stores" so that we could buy me some clothes or a purse off of the clearance rack. My dad has excellent taste . . . but he was also wise as he spent his money. My dad is such a loving man. And I'm so glad that I grew up to marry someone just like him.

My dad is so smart! I promise you, I think he knows a little something about everything! When I was growing up he used to give us really long lectures about everything and anything that we wanted to know about. I still love to sit around and talk to him and listen to what he has to say about different things. My dad is such a smart man. And I'm so glad that I grew up to marry someone just like him.

My dad is a disciplined man. He gets up at the same time each day. He still exercises regularly. He spent 26 years in the military and he wears his clothes neatly pressed and well matched. He keeps his hair neatly groomed and he shaves his face every day. There is nothing untidy about my dad! And I'm so glad that I grew up to marry someone just like him.

My dad has a wonderful sense of humor. He loves to laugh and he enjoys everything there is to enjoy about life. He sees the bright side of every situation and is so hopeful about every body and every thing. I always feel better after I have spent time with my dad. And I'm glad I grew up to marry someone just like him.

In November my husband will fly my dad up here so that he can spend Thanksgiving with us. While my dad is here he will fix the things that are broken, cook the turkey (and even boil the neck so that he and I can eat it), tell me all sorts of nice things and love and enjoy everybody else too.

My dad is the most encouraging person I know. And I'm so glad that I married someone just like him.

Starting Off on the Right Foot

This is for all you home school moms ♥. It's something that we shared with the wonderful moms of our church that school their children at home and I believe it was an encouragement to them. I pray it encourages you too.

The school year is here again and the theme for our Grace Baptist Church Academy for Home Schoolers this year is “Finishing the Course.”

It is our desire to use the four meetings that we have scheduled to encourage you and your family as you work hard running your academic race this year.

At this first meeting Pastor Dave has asked me to talk to you about the subject, “Stepping Off on the Right Foot.” Have you ever stopped to consider what makes one home school year better than the other? Have you ever wondered why one home school family succeeds while another one fails? Or why some children do great while other children struggle?

I have been thinking a lot about these kinds of things as I have been praying for and planning this first home school meeting. And as I have been praying and planning, the Lord has shown me that the difference is a matter of diligence.

What is diligence? It is a persevering application and is characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic application and effort.

If the Lord were to judge the workmanship of the students in your school, would He consider them to be diligent?

Would He find them doing their best, working independently, and getting everything that needs to be done in a timely manner?

Or would He find them to be slow in getting things done, their work messy as it is turned in, and needing help with every little thing?

Dear friends, the best thing that you can do to start off this school year on the right foot is to establish a plan for diligent work in your school.

How can you do this? First of all, understand that the natural tendency of your children being schooled at home is to be lazy. Why is this? Because most people view home as a place of rest and comfort. They see Mom as the worker at home and themselves as the blessed recipients of her good labor. I’m not exactly sure where they get this idea, maybe from watching “Leave it to Beaver” or something.

But the truth of the matter is that home is the place where children are supposed to be learning how to become diligent workers and you are supposed to be the one who is diligently training them.

As you begin this school year, I want you to ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do I allow my children to “putt off” doing some of their school work?

2. Do I allow my children to waste time during the school day doing silly and unnecessary things?

3. Do I allow my children to sleep in as long as they want to?

4. Do I allow my children to make excuses for messy or undone work?

5. Have I allowed my children to become careless in their school work?

6. Do my children expect other people to help them get things done?

7. Do my children behave like “know it alls” when I am teaching them something new?

8. Do my children need to be watched every minute?

9. Do I have trouble getting my children to do a good job with their chores?

If you answered YES to most of these questions, you must understand that the spirit of laziness that has been nurtured in your children.

What is the definition of laziness? Laziness is defined as inactivity resulting from a dislike of work.

Believe it or not, the Bible has so much to say about the lazy person, and none of it is good!

The Bible describes the lazy person like this:

* They are procrastinators (Proverbs 20:4)

* They make excuses (Proverbs 22:13; 26:13)

* They are time wasters (Proverbs 18:9)

* They love to sleep (Proverbs 6:9)

* They are full of themselves (Proverbs 26:16)

* They want to reap where others sow (Proverbs 12:27)

* They are not dependable (Proverbs 10:26; 25:19)

* They work aimlessly and need a boss to watch over them (Proverbs 6:6-12)

* They grow up to become busybodies (II Thessalonians 3:11; I Timothy 5:13)

So, what can you do to discourage my children from becoming lazy home school students? You can establish a spirit of diligence in your home year begins.

I want to encourage all of you to make work a habit and a lifestyle around your house by establishing the following:

1. Daily schedule. There should be a time when every one is supposed to be up, dressed, have eaten and at their desk ready for the school day to start.

2. Daily and Weekly chore chart. Every child should be helping with the work load around the house until he or she is old enough to work outside of the house. And even then, they should still be keeping their rooms clean, doing their own laundry and helping with other things when they have time.

3. Daily and Weekly school tasks. Every week your children should be assigned a variety of tasks that must be completed by the end of the day or by the end of the week.

What if they won’t do it? Then you must allow them to be punished and suffer because of it. Consider what the Bible has to say about this, “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” II Thessalonians 3:10.

If your children won’t do what they are supposed to do, the Bible makes it clear that they shouldn’t be permitted to do anything else they would want to do either. Don’t feed them physically, socially or emotionally until everything is done like it is supposed to be done. God knows best how to handle things ~ it will only take once or twice of going without food, fellowship and fun to teach your children the lesson of doing their work when it needs to get done.

Finally, I want to encourage you to make a commitment to become a great example of a diligent worker yourself. The Bible teaches us in I Thessalonians 4:11-12 that there are four things that you can do to achieve this:

1. Study to be quiet
2. Do your own business
3. Work with your own hands

May God bless you and your family in a special way as you seek to start off on the right foot with a spirit of diligence this year!

Happiness Came Looking for Me

This is the talk that I shared with the ladies at our Friendship Tea. I have been asked by a few people for the notes, so I thought I might as well as share them with you here :).

I love to be around things that make me happy, how about you? I think most of us in this room are on a personal mission to surround ourselves with things that make us feel good so that we will feel happy most of the time.

As I was studying for this little talk, I learned that the search for personal happiness is something that has become very popular again. The quest for personal bliss seems to be finding its way once again into many newsletters, blog sites, magazine articles and into many a conversation between good friends.

And many of us in this very room are on the same mission. Every day we wake up in search of a happy day filled with happy folk having happy times doing happy things. We want happiness in our relationships at home, at work and at church. And when we don’t find the happiness that we are looking for each day, we get frustrated and wonder where it might have gotten lost along the way.

Where DOES the happiness that we are searching for get lost each day?

1. Some say that it gets lost through the GATES of GREED. In the tiny Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan the Prime Minister has declared greed to be the cause of the current global economic meltdown, and by extension, our great global unhappiness. So he adopted a new constitution centered on Gross National Happiness, with agriculture, transportation, and foreign trade programs now being judged not by their economic benefits, but by the happiness they produce. Has adopting this new constitution brought everybody the happiness that the nation believes they deserve? I’m afraid it hasn’t.

2. Some say that it gets lost through the EXIT of EXPECTATIONS. They believe that the source of unhappiness is our expectations. We are happy as long as we get what we expect, but as soon as our expectations are no longer met, then we are miserable again.

Then others say that happiness is something that CAN BE found, you just have to look in the right places for it.

Where should we be looking for it?

1. Well, some say in APPRECIATION. If we would just appreciate everything that we are given, then we would find the happiness that we are looking for in them.

2. Some say in ACHIEVEMENT. If we could only achieve and become great at whatever it is we want to become known for, then we will find the happiness in life that we are looking for.

3. And then some say that it is found in ACQUISITION. If we could only buy everything that we want we would be able to find happiness in what we have.

And you know what? There are times when each one of these is true. When I genuinely appreciate what I have been given, I am often happy with what I have. During the times when I have worked hard and achieved something that I considered to be great, I am happy with myself. And when I have been able to acquire the nice things that I have been wanting to buy, I am so very happy! I love buying new things! How about you?

And even though doing these things has made me feel VERY happy from time to time, none of them has ever brought me the lasting happiness that I am really looking for.

A few years ago God taught me a very important truth that I would like to share with you today and it is this: happiness is not something that you can find by looking for it . . . it is something that comes looking to find you!

The little Patch the Pirate song says it best:

“I was looking for a jolly joyful feeling,
To bring happiness inside.
Tho’ I searched all my heart,
I still felt empty,I was never satisfied.

Then happiness came looking for me,
When I started giving happiness to others;
Happiness came hunting me down,
When I started to help with all the needs around.

Serving Christ and putting self last,
Brought me deep down ever lasting happiness
I was busy giving you see,
So happiness came looking for me.”

The happiest people in this world are the people that spend the most time bringing the most happiness to others.

I decided many years ago that I wanted to be one of those people that happiness comes chasing me down, so asked around to find out what kinds of things brought the most happiness to others . . . here are the top seven things I found out:

1. A Smiling Face. Everyone loves to see a smile! The smile is the universal sign of approval. When we greet people with a smile on our face and a twinkle in our eye they immediately feel loved and accepted by us.

2. Thoughtful Remembrance. People like to be remembered. It makes them feel happy when people remember who they are and what it going on in their lives. What are some ways that we can bring happiness into the lives of others through Thoughtful Remembrance? Greet them by name when you see them. People LOVE to hear their name! Pray for their needs and struggles. Give them a call or send them a note on their birthday, when they are sick, or right after something terrible has happened in their lives.

3. Encouraging Words. Praise makes people happy! Compliments make people happy! Words of gratitude make people happy! People love to feel appreciated and one of the simplest ways to communicate appreciation is through the use of encouraging words.

4. Willing Participation. Don’t you just love it when people willingly participate with you? Doesn’t it make you feel so happy when you believe that others WANT to do the things you want them to do? It does me. Well guess what? We aren’t the only ones! The whole world around us feels that way too! Whenever we willingly participate in something that someone wants us to do it makes them feel so happy inside.

5. Unexpected Giving. Have you ever wanted something real bad and then someone that you know surprised you with it? Remember how happy it made you feel? I remember one time when my husband did this for me ~ I had really wanted this blue rocker for the kids guest room in my house and one day I came home and it was sitting in the room. When I saw that chair, my heart became filled with happiness. That random act of unexpected giving made me feel so loved . . . and just like every other woman in this world, when I feel loved, I feel happy!

6. Undivided Attention. Have you ever started talking to someone about something and when you did they stopped everything they were doing to come and sit and listen to you? Didn’t it make you feel so happy? Giving someone your undivided attention is one of the simplest ways of making people feel happy because it makes them feel like you genuinely want to be with them.

7. Gracious Restraint. What is gracious restraint? It is the kind act of NOT saying something that could be or should be said. You know those times when someone gets a hair cut and you think it looks terrible and you really want to say something “helpful” but you keep your mouth closed instead. Or when someone does something that offends you or offends someone else and rather than give them the riot act, you just keep quiet and let it go. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for others is just be quiet and overlook the foolish things they do. This makes them so happy, and if you think about it, it is something that would make you feel happy too.

“Happiness came looking for me,” the song goes, “when I started giving happiness to others. Happiness came hunting me down, when I started to help with all the needs around.”

This sounds so easy doesn’t it? If you want happiness to come hunting you down, all you have to do is start joyfully helping with all the needs around.

“But Julie,” I can hear some of you say, “I would love to live my life like that, but I just don’t have it in me.”

And you know what? You are absolutely right. You don’t have it in you! And neither do I. As a matter of fact, anything that I have ever done unselfishly for the good of anybody else has only been because of a great God that has been willing to live through me.

But in order to have our great God live through you, you need to make sure that He is living IN you. Are you 100% sure that God is living IN you?

The Bible tells us in Psalm 144:15, “Yea happy is that people, whose God is the Lord.” Has there ever been a time when you have made the God in Heaven YOUR LORD? The Bible tells us in the book of Romans that in order to do this we must understand these four things:

1. That we are all sinners. Romans 3:23 tells us, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”

2. That there is a price for sin. Romans 6:23 tells us, “For the wages of sin is death.”

3. That God sent us Jesus as a gift to pay the penalty for our sin. Romans 6:23 then goes on to say, “But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” And do you know that God sent us this gift even though He knew that we didn’t deserve it? Romans 5:8 reminds us of this when it says, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

4. That we must voluntarily put our faith in what He has done for us and trust Him as our personal Saviour and only way to Heaven. The Bible tells us in Romans chapter 10, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” What will you be saved from? Well, one thing you will be saved from is spending an eternity in hell because you decided to pay the penalty for your own sins when you die.

But there is something else that you are saved from as well. When you decided to make God YOUR LORD by trusting Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, you save yourself from the hopeless despair that the evil one brings into the hearts and minds of those that choose to live only for themselves.

Have you ever trusted Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour? If you haven’t, I want to encourage you to trust Him today. If this is something that you are interested in doing, I want to encourage you to pray this prayer along with me:

“Dear Jesus, I know that I am a sinner; if I died in my sin, I would go to Hell when I die. Right now, by faith, I am trusting you as my personal Saviour and only hope for Heaven. Thank you for dying on the cross for me, for being buried and then rising again so that I could be saved and have a home in Heaven when I die. In Jesus Name, Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer, I want to encourage you to let someone know. Tell the friend that brought you, the hostess at your table, or come and tell me. This is something that we would all love to hear about!

And if you have already trusted Jesus Christ to be your Saviour, I want to ask you this question, are you trusting Him to supply you with the happiness you need to give to others as well? The Bible tells us in Proverbs 16:20 that He can ~ “whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he.”

The happiest mother in this room is the one who genuinely enjoys spending time with her children. Why? Because in return, she has children that enjoy spending time with her.

The happiest wife in any home is the one who spends her time encouraging her husband and doing things the way he wants them done. Why? Because when he feels encouraged and happy with his home, he becomes a husband that wants to encourage his wife and care for his home.

The happiest employee at any job is the one who is doing whatever it takes to make the boss successful. Why? Because they are the one getting raises and promotions.

And the happiest servant at church is the one who serves so that others can be blessed ~ the nursery worker that plays with the kids so that they will be happy while mommy is gone; the hospitality worker that serves so that the people will be encouraged by the food; the ladies ministry worker that reaches out and helps the women get to know each other so that no one will feel lonely . . . and as these women bless others, God sees to it that they are blessed by others in return.

This is something that the Bible promises us in Luke 6:38, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”

But remember, it only works when you give for the good of OTHERS, not just for gain for yourself.

“Happiness came looking for me, when I started bringing happiness to others. Happiness came hunting me down, when I started to help with all the needs around.”

If you want to enjoy more happiness in your life, then spend your time doing the seven things that we talked about today . . . because these are the things that have been proven to bring the greatest happiness to the lives of others.

Treasures In This Field

"How long do you have left on that machine?" my husband asked me when he walked in from work last night.

"About another hour."

"You have got to be kidding! I feel so sorry for you!"

And I guess if I was the one looking at me I would feel pretty sorry for me too. Here I am bruised from the surgery, bandaged from the incisions, bloated from the medication, and basically stranded on this crazy CPM machine for the better part of each day.

But you know what? Even though things might look pretty bad to my husband when he looks in on me at the end of each day . . . the truth is that if he were able to spend the whole time with me he would learn that I have found many treasures in this field that I have been left in to recover for the next many, many days.

What kind of treasures have I found in this field of recovering from shoulder surgery this time?

I have found the treasure of TIME. Because so much of my day has got to be devoted to sitting in one place while my arm goes up and down, I have plenty of time to do the following wonderful things:

1. I have plenty of time to read. I have been reading and reading God's Word, spiritual books, and how to books.

2. I have plenty of time to pray. It's amazing how many more people come to my mind now that I have to sit still while I pray.

3. I have time to think. I have been able to sort out all kinds of things that seemed confusing to me before and to plan for all sorts of things that are coming in the months ahead.

4. I have time to thank. It seems like I spend so much time lately thanking the Lord and my husband for the great care that they have bestowed upon me.

5. I have time to listen. I have spent many hours listening to God speak to me through sermon cd's, teaching cd's and through the sun that shines through the window of the room that I sit in.

I have found the treasure of BEING CARED FOR and LOVED. My husband has been so kind and thoughtful towards me. He has bought special things for us to eat. He has helped with some of the housework. He has sat in the room and talked with me for long amounts of time. He has made sure I have ice for my ice machine, rides to physical therapy, things to read and listen to, and anything else that I might need.

Other people have been so loving and caring too. My daughter Sabrina has shopped for me and helped me with my housework. My daughter Kina has made meals. Many friends have sent special goodies and gifts and cards. And many other people have called and said prayers.

I have found the treasure of HELP. As I have had to delegate many of my responsibilities to others, I have found so many people so willing to help.

I have found the treasure of PEACE. When a person struggles with a physical malady, they become very aware of their own limitations. The longer that I have struggled with this shoulder issue (it's been since January), the more peace I have with the fact that it may never really get better ~ and I'm fine with that. I am doing all that I can, and then I will let it all rest and deal with what comes.

I have found the treasure of COMPASSION. As I struggle through my arm exercises each day, sit on the CPM machine and go to physical therapy five times a week, I am becoming very aware that there is a whole world around me that is struggling and hurting too and I have developed such a heart for them!

I have to be honest with you, I never thought that I would end up ever struggling physically like this. Until I turned 45 years old I was always one of those "healthy ones" that ate right, exercised regularly, never broke a bone, had a stitch and I was always in shape. But all that has changed over the past few years. I'm not the same person that I was and it has taken me a little while to adjust to this.

And the best way to adjust to anything is to see the positive side of it . . . and the positive side of struggling with physical limitations and issues is to make the most of the treasures that can be found in any field that you are dwelling in.

Does my life resemble a bit of a battle kind of a field right now? Yes, it certainly does. And the truth of the matter is that when I look in the mirror and see all the bruising, the bandages, and the bloating I become a bit overwhelmed by what I see. And while I am sitting on this crazy CPM machine for hours and hours and hours only to see my arm swell and become more painful and bloated, I get to feeling a bit hopeless and discouraged . . . until I remind myself to remember . . . that not everything about being in this battlefield of recovery has been negative . . . that there have been many treasures that I have found in this field as well.

"Are you going to be OK?" my husband asks me as he leaves to go wherever he must go each day.

"Yes, I'm going to be just fine." And I mean it. Today I am going to enjoy this whole life experience by enjoying the time, love, help and care that I am receiving and by being grateful for the peace and compassion that I have received because of it.

Contests, Projects, Surprises & Ideas

Our grandson Conner will turn three years old in less than three weeks. He is such a delightful little boy and he always comes up with the funniest things to say.

Sabrina says that lately everything with him has become a "contest".

When he is coloring, he says, "Look at me Mommy, I'm having a contest."

And while he is playing with his younger brother Hayden he will say, "Hayden and I are having a contest Mommy."

Yesterday while I was watching him play outside with the spray bottle I noticed him spraying the flowers and then jump up and say, "Surprise!"

Then he would do a forward somersault and jump up and say, "Surprise!"

He is such a happy little guy. Even when he is being corrected he comes up with something funny to say.

"Listen Gramma," he says to me after getting up from having to sit on the park bench for a few minutes, "This is the PROJECT~ you take two of these and two of those and you put them all together and you come up with this!"

This afternoon, while he was here with my husband for a few minutes, he looks out the back patio door and says, "Look Gramma, there's bees out there. Hey, I have an IDEA . . . why don't I just go outside and spit on the bugs, then they will all go away.

Contests, Projects, Surprises, Ideas . . . this little fellow is just FILLED to the brim with adorable things to say!

I love this little fellow and his younger brother so much. It brings me so much joy just to be around them and talk with them.

I told him a few weeks ago that on his third birthday that his Papa and I were going to take him to the zoo. And now when I mention what we are going to do together for his birthday he say, "Papa and Gramma are going to take me to the zoo," and then he looks at Hayden and smiles real big, "And NOT you Hayden, la la la la, not YOU!"

What a wonderful privilege it is to spend time with your children's children. They are truly a blessing and a heritage from the Lord.

Surgery, Goodies and My New Home Companion

On Monday morning a nice man from the Otto Brock Medical Supply Company delivered this funny looking chair to my house.

"Here is how it works," he said after he set the thing up, "You just put your arm in here, strap it in and turn it on. The machine will raise your arm slowly up to 160 degrees and then slowly down. You will do this for two hours at a time for six hours during the day."

"Oh," is all I could think of to say. What does one say to something that is delivered to your home like this? Especially when it is delivered with so many demanding instructions?

"Thank you," I managed to say after it was all over, "Thank you for bringing it over for me to use," I said to the man as he left my house on that day.

On the Sunday before my friend Karen had brought me a gift bag filled with goodies, so I decided to decorate the chair with them until I would use it after my surgery on Tuesday . . .

Yes, on Tuesday I had to have another surgery on my shoulder area. This time the surgery was simpler ~ just a going in to clean up scar tissue and release some of the tendons that were too tight. I came through the surgery fine, it was messier than she imagined (of course), but she managed to clean it all up and home I went with my arm all numbed in a sling and feeling like I wanted to sleep for the rest of the day.

But there was not going to be much sleeping for me on that day. I went from surgery to home for one hour and then off to physical therapy so that I could be shown my "new found" range of motion. My arm now moves all the way up and a good ways out ~ with a lot of assistance (of course). But the goal is that I will be able to move it freely in all sorts of directions within the next six weeks . . . that's why I have to go to physical therapy every day and use this CPM machine.

I call this CPM machine my New Home Companion. To tell you the truth ~ I LOVE IT! It stretches my arm out so nicely and after I sit there for about an hour, I usually drift off into a light sleep. I start off praying and I end up sleeping. I guess the disciples in the garden weren't the last ones to do that sort of thing :).

I have also been given a series of rigorous arm exercises to do four times a day. These exercises take me about forty-five minutes to do. Between six hours on the CPM machine, four hours of exercises and one and a half hours of physical therapy ~ my day is consumed with just working hard at getting better. For fun I squeeze in sessions on the ice machine :).

Please pray for me if you think about me. Pray that I will be faithful and diligent to this very demanding task I have been given for the next six weeks. The doctor told me that at about three or four weeks the shoulder will want to stiffen back up again, so I must work very, very hard to avoid that happening.

Romans 8:28 reminds me, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."